Back again with "Relationship" talks.

Saturday 10 March 2012

Really?? Source
Como estas? bien supongo?
(How are you? Fine I guess?)

So the 'relationship' talk came up again in one of my talks with the Ami . Thank goodness this one did not end in an argument.
We were talking about the main reason for going in a relationship.
From my point of view on what others think, I think majority of the ladies out there go in a relationship because they feel it is a necessity; they can't be alone without a man in their lives. I am not disputing this however I believe men also go into relationships because they just want to have a woman in their life for the moment- this is when they are not so ready or even planning on getting married in the nearest future.
Therefore, the ladies become exploited due to the patriarchal power the men have- some women and men give their all in relationships because they believe the other person is serious and would be their future partner. Minority of the people in this kind of scenario do go on to get married and all that because their feelings are mutual however majority end up in heartbreaks and all.
This topic is a bit confusing and rambling- don't be surprised if you are a bit lost with this.

Like always. here's a scenario;
a friend of mine who is still pretty young and in terms of marriage is not so ready for it right now was telling me about her "ex". According to her, she felt like she had a loose knot in her head when she was in the relationship. She said he would call her at night and say he is hungry and she will take her time out to cook for him and when she does call him to come pick the food up- he'd tell her to bring it over to his house which is not that close to hers. She also said during his birthdays- she bought him really expensive gifts and I can't seem to remember what she said she bought him once; he refused it and said why would she buy such "cheap" thing which was not SO or even cheap at all blah blah. So she said she apologised and took him to the store and on arrival at the store, she saw a really expensive gift and told him to take of which he embarrassed her or something- this was a long time ago so I do apologise that I can't remember the full story anymore.
She did explain that she thought she was mad in love with this dude but at the end, it turned out that he just wanted a "maid" or "girl figure" so he looked goooooddd in the midst of his friends. It turned out that the guy then realised that my lovely friend had stopped him in his tracks and he started begging. Thank God she was quick to get out of it.
My point- why exactly did she go in a relationship? She thought she loved him and thought it was high time she had some "man" power or figure in her life when that was the least of the things she needed.
Anyways, she did get out of that one- and has learnt her lesson so she is still single for now.

My friend said- this is another friend who is now married;
I need a man to complete me and not to rely on because majority of the women out there believe they need to rely on a man to be able to make it in life or be comfortable.
I agreed with her on the spot and really thought about it hard afterwards. I do not think ladies need men to make it in life, be comfortable and all that as they ok lemme say we think. This friend of mine was and is MADE and when I say MADE i mean MADE  I don't want to over exaggerate things now but she was pretty comfortable . If marriage was not a necessity I doubt if she'd actually have gone into it. She was comfortable as a spinster although she was pretty quiet and we had loads and loads of shopping, movies and lunch days oh how I miss you girl...see how marriage has moved you away from the city now :-(- I'm glad she is married though so I am not complaining. Even on her wedding day, you could see that she was complete- it was like a little piece of a puzzle being inserted into its place.
She made me understand that sometimes if you rely on men, you do not get the push to better yourself or be someone of your own, it makes you subordinate to men and vice versa if you are a man. But what can I say. Her words keep ringing in my mind whenever I think about the "relationship" topic.
When I see ladies hopping from one man to another, I keep thinking they could save themselves a lot of money, time, emotional stress and all that by waiting for the "right" one to "complete" them. 

So I can clarify things in my mind and to get everyones opinion on the topic- I have brought it here for you guys to please read and share you thoughts. What do you think? Thanks

PS- has anyone seen Good Deeds- Tyler Perry's new movie????? Oh my goodness- I absolutely love that movie to pieces. And why does Tyler Perry look so cute in that movie? Why aren't you a little younger and residing in my hood Tyler? *sigh* LOL.

Ok did I tell you guys that I got chocolate for Valentine's?  At least I got something however small- I won't tell you who gave me the choc! Here is a picture of the chocolate bar. What?? chocolate is chocolate whether bar or not. And I'm still waiting for Honeydame to share chinchin so I will let you guys know when she does. :-)
Source- I got the one with the blue strip



  1. Interesting story.. I think some people also get into relationship wanting to start their courtship early but it doesnt always work that way like you mentioned. Its better to just seek God before giving out ur heart.

    The movie looks interesting..Me wan see :)

    1. @UVG- you should see it. Its simply fab!. At the end as well, Tyler offered Thandi a ticket to Abuja Nigeria. Made me love the movie more

  2. LMAAOOO @ your calling me out! Dont worry, I gat you if you will send me an address into my
    As per the relationship story. Here is the problem (iThink), how does a gurl know if a man will complete her? She has to first be in a relationship with him! U get my point? It just gets bad when they dont realise that that isnt the man for them early enough.....They stilll have to give a relationship a shot to determine if it is Mr Right, or Mr Wrong...

    1. Honeydame. You can't mention chinchin and go without me mentioning your name now especially close to Valentine's day like that! LoL. I kid I kid. :-)

  3. I think, girls usually know when something is wrong but i don't know what happens to the liver to get out immediately when the guy's not treating you right *sigh*. There are some things you just can't deal with and they'll get worse with marriage. Thank God your young friend got out of that 1 fast cos that guy seems like a bully.

    1. Exactly, it seems ladies like hanging in there due to the "it might work if I hang in there a little longer" attitude!

  4. I'm glad your friend later left that relationship. It is better to only stay with people for the right reasons.

    I saw Good deeds and it was a great movie.

    1. Yaaay @ the movie. I'm glad u agree with me on both topics

  5. Well i think there is a diffrence between being there for your partner and being taken advantage of.Like they say,a man will only treat you the way you allow him too.Im glad she realised she is better than that and deserves some respect.We all go into relationships for different reasons at different stages in our lives so it depends.I personally want the "one" to be my partner,friend,and all the good already am complete i believe as a person and hopefully will be with another complete individual.I think it will work better,because that way you can still be your own person even while working as a team.My two cents..
    im new,thought i say

    1. Thank you Maurie! I totally agree with you. Its the way we relate with each other that determines how the relations progresses! Merci :-)

  6. your friend is smart for walking away from that kind of relationship.As per relationships pple start one for different reason must times its for the wrong reason so it always ends up unveil said it's better to seek God before heading into one.

    1. Martha!!!! She had no choice but to leave. It was high time. Actually, I should have sent her over to you for some talks!! :-) Thanks Chica!

  7. Heaven help us and our relationships.

    your friend with the ungrateful guy, I really feel for her, and Im glad she's out. so sad how some people take advantage of others because the other cares about them.


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