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I wanna be FAT + Halloween + Random

Monday, 31 October 2011

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Hey darling.
Sorry I've been away for too long.
Thanks a lot to The Relentless Builder for the Versatile Blogger award. It is much appreciated. Thanks darl!. Please do visit the Relentless Builder's blog. Its amazing.
Welcome to the new followers and everyone that checked up on me, Thank you!!! ;-)


Yea you read that right.
I am so tired of being skinny slim miss thing. It is getting really annoying. There is no day someone doesn't comment about my height and weight.
Flipping through magazines and I am like I won't mind having a little bit of fat here and there and over here and over there.
Don't give me that chubby gist, I want to have a little bit more flesh here and there.
Sometimes, I get really hyped with myself looking in the mirror saying;
"look at you, miss perfect figure (I wish)- not too thin, not FAT, just past the borderline, you go girl""
Other days I'm like;
"look at you, you are so skinny, when you are not a model- eat some food Tee!"

I do have conversations with myself alot so pls do not think I am going "gaga".

My next door neighbour has been pestering me for a long time about going for a photoshoot, telling me to set up a model portfolio and take them to agencies- she went as far as telling me she'd go with me if I am too shy to go alone. I just kept telling her- OK I'll do it. This has been on for over 2 years and right now, I literally run away from her. When I see her coming from the north, I turn sharply to the east because I've totally run out of excuses now. But she thinks I am not too slim, other people have told me to "keep your stature this way, don't eat junk food so as not to spoil your figure" and my response is a sarcastic grin and the thought of Yea right, quit psyching me.
Others have simply told me- Tee, try eat some more food and I'm like I do eat and they say to me but not much (which is true). I get filled to the brim quite easily so yea.
But for ye ladies who are good at gaining and losing weight without stress, can you give tips on this one?

In other news, its  halloween day today and I kept looking at little kids dressed in scary outfits and all. What came to my mind was what my great grandmother would have said- Why are all these children dressed like witches and wizards, are they going mad? (translate that to Yoruba if you can). She was hilarious. bless her.

I do apologise for being MIA for over 2 weeks. Although I commented on blogs, I was doing that in motion so I haven't actually been able to blog for a bit for that reason.

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 I was thinking about this the other day and I felt you guys might find it weird;

Can u henmargine? (Like seyi-law 'd say) if you haven't figured that I love comedy then you are ...............wait for it. .............bewreeful. Anyway, they always say there is no place like home. True that but honestly, somethings we complain about are really fun things and if we were to get rid of them then the boredom would start FULL TIME.
You see, Nigeria is amazingly amazing and the things people complain about daily I find interesting and fun. Here we go -

Traffic- oh wow. Traffic in Lagos for sure is fun to me. Lemme explain myself before you cut my head off. I love being stuck in road traffic with someone I am head over heels for. Someone that will make me laugh and someone I can say anything and everything to. It is when we are stuck in traffic that the bonding occurs the most but fresh air better be flowing if not, I'll be a bit cranky.

NEPA/PHCN moments- When they do their thing during the day and its not so wise to turn on a generator, these moments are fabulous because you get to joke around with people, play games, know weird and random things about people

Mechanics- watching them is quite amusing. They are characters and wonderful. The way they talk, shout, joke, play and sing. Watching them is my thing so what I do is stay in a corner where they can barely see me and watch them. Its like a 3D movie playing before your eyes.

NB- I do nag about these things sometimes but its kinda enjoyable at times.

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Lastly, during my cousin's wedding a few years ago, she decided to get married in a far away city in Nigeria and cheerfully chose me as a maid of honor along with mon sisto. (She wasn't into the whole long train thing so she had 2 maids of honor). We had to stay over at a hotel and my sister and I were hungry one night and we decided to order some food. I don't know what I was thinking- we had no menu, so we sillyingly (if there is a word like that) asked for Spaghetti Bolognaise, thinking they might actually have it;
Tee- Hi, we'd like to order some food please?
Person on the other end of the phone- What would you like? (not giving us options)
Tee (on sister and I's agreement)- Do you have Spaghetti Bolognaise?
Person......- No, we only have Dangote

....Dangote is a spaghetti brand in Ng.

Hae a fab one loves,
As usual, apologies for the typos if any, I'll edit it soon. Its 23.15pm. Sleep time.

I THINKS I AM IN LOVE- ALL OF A SUDDEN!

Sunday, 16 October 2011

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Hey darlings,

How are you? Looking forward to the new week? Well I bet its gonna be a great one thanks to God in advance.
Ok so all of a sudden I just started singing this song and I didn't realise when I went on Youtube and just typed in  "Fall in Love" and ever since its been on replay. I'm like "I'm in love, are you in love?"
So I think I'm in love- hey, love is love right?"



Have a fab one !

Luv

Spoiled brats + Beyonce's bump

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

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Hey sweeties,

I decided not to let this day go by without me punching my keyboard buttons to blog.
The weather has been quite unique this week. Its been raining non stop since last Thursday/Friday I think. Well it does kinda stop for an hour or less and then starts again. Its not heavy rain though but its like spraying. If you stay in it for about 5 mins, you'd start looking like you are sweating on a lovely morning which isn't quite cool.

Moving on from the weather, on my way back to the humble abode, I spotted an old lady with her grandson. The little "brat" (as I choose to call him here) was running well ahead of his nan. The poor nan had a bag in one of her hands and looked like she couldn't wait to get to her destination.
Suddenly suddenly (D'banj's voice), this little BRAT saw a pair of socks lying in the middle of a minor road with cars moving in both directions. He ran to the middle of the road and picked the dirty socks and threw them in a puddle by the road side and made a splash. This poor woman stressed her aging lungs and throat shouting at this lil brat to STOP IT RIGHT NOW in her typical Yorkie accent. She yelled and kept yelling at him to quit it but he did not listen.

A peaceful dude minding his business was walking past and this little boy picked the socks and did a twirl with them in his hands thereby splashing dirty water on his pretty looking pants. I couldn't help but squint as though he was a lil kid I knew. Deep in my mind, I was yelling at him even though it din't escape my mouth and I couldn't tell him to stop because his nan was walking closer to him with each step she took, getting ready to spank him with her other hand.
I never thought the old woman could pick herself off the floor like that. She ran so fast that the lil brat himself took off running. But he ran facing on coming traffic's direction, he wasn't paying attention to see if any car was approaching. He wasn't scared of getting hit by a car. He kept running and this old lady who doesn't wanna lose her grandson started yelling again. She had obviously had enough of the boy and was sick and tired of his company for the day.
He ran up a hilly bend which was extremely dangerous because he could have been hit by a car so easily because it is a sharp bens with no driver being able to see ahead until they are past the bend. No one would have seen him there.
To be honest, the lil brat annoyed me.
I thought- Supernanny can't even do anything for this boy, buy him a one way to ticket to a certain country located in West Africa. I am not stating country names here hmmmm.

The next thing that came to my mind was "How I wish he was in Africa, shouting would have only been the tip of the iceberg".
Running on a road in the direction of oncoming cars and you are being told to stop and you are not listening? hmmm *shaking my head in disgust with a sarcastic laugh* . That day the brat will understand the difference between sugar cane and stinging cane, star jump and frog jump, stool down and point to the ground, ride a motorcycle on the wall and ride your scooter, stand in the corner with your hands up (Praise the Lord) and go in the naughty corner.
I love my African peeps especially the teachers- mayne they were good. Did they study "how to disciple students when they did their teacher training?

Thats the story of the little brattie brat. Gosh that little muffin case annoyed me!!

Moving on to other news, I read about Beyonce's baby bump on Linda Ikeji's blog and its making me hope it isn't true because that would make me really mad at Beyonce if she really is............not!
But lets wait now, we'll see who the baby looks like when he or she arrives and we'll do some calculations.

Also, lately I have noticed that guys have started using DEAR quite a lot now. Its something that I find weird because it was never their thing to call or refer to people as "dear" but they all use it now. Even uncles or cousins that were like hardcore before, when you say
Tee- Good evening cuz or uncle
Uncle or Cousin- Good evening dear, how are you dear?
Tee- Uncle, can I use your phone?
Uncle- Yes dear
Tee- Uncle can I use your credit card?
Uncle- No..........dear!

I'm not complaining, guys please continue using dears and darlings, it makes you more approachable. I will sure think that someone who uses dear and all is quite soft and kind on the inside.

You all know I luv ya right?

Have a fab one!






PS- I know the picture doesn't match the story but I kinda think its cute. Although I love puppies, that dont mean that sharing ice cream that way is something sensible to do. And also apologies for the typos if any. I'll do some good editing soon.

The Versatile Blogger Award from Ms. Buki..

Tuesday, 11 October 2011


Hello darlings,

I know I said I was going to post something on Saturday or Sunday but it was really busy weekend so I do apologize.
Well in other news, I got The Versatile Blogger Award from Ms.Buki and this is to say Thank you missy. Very much appreciated. Thank you!! Please feel extremely free to visit her blog. Its fabulous.
My very first blog award. *shining teeth* I am quite excited about this. Someone thought about me and my blog. Aww so sweet. LOL. 

So here are The Rules;
  1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post.
  2. Share 7 things about yourself.
  3. Pass this award along to 15 recently discovered blogs and let them know about it.
Number 1 done.

7 things about myself; oh dear.

  • I love cooking and keeping places clean. Once I start, its kind of hard to stop cleaning because I feel like I have killed half the germs and not the remaining half.
  • I enjoy talking and hanging out with old elderly people in their 70's and 80's because I feel they talk good and give expert advice
  • I always wash my hands immediately I walk in the door
  • I love shopping for dresses and taking little girls out on fun day trips with my sister
  • I am absolutely a bowling fan. I can bowl for hours and not get bored at all. Although when I get tired of it, I tend to drop the bowling balls anyhow.
  • Most nights, I am peckish so what I do when I go grocery shopping is get a large tub of Walls Ice cream along with Madeira cake for late night afters/cravings (which actually uhmmm I am having now)
  • I have never been clubbing (yea- proud of it) because I can't stand drunk people, sweaty atmosphere, dark or moving color lights. Enough to make one dizzy. *that's the picture that uhmmm pictures, descriptions and movies paint*. Don't plan on going in the near future. Just aint my thing.
Thats done. Now for the tagging I am tagging-
Ms.Buki (Yes tagging you again LOL!)
H (been following secretly but now following)

Most of the blogs have been tagged but just in case you've been tagged again......go you!
And also I am tagging every single blogger that has visited and commented and the ones that secretly follow as well. 

Sleep time..Have a great one sweeties and Thanks Ms Buki for the award, Thanks 9jaFoodie for uploading my entry. 

Luv

Tee!



All work and no joke makes Charlie a dumbdumb@yahoo.com! A smile won't hurt.

Friday, 7 October 2011

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Gotta chill out sometimes mayne......so I felt these might put a smile on your face if not a big smile or a loud laugh.

Nigerians are so HILARIOUS!
Wait a minute- I think people from other countries do ask such questions. Like seriously?
Here are a few questions;

You went home and came back to school and your friend sees you getting on the shuttle bus or something and says-
Friend- Are you back?
Tee-No I am still in Saudi Arabia, it is my carbon copy or photocopy standing in front of you

Sees you at the beach-
Friend- What are you doing here at the beach?
Tee- I have come to do some shopping on the water

Sees you at a restaurant-
Friend- What are you doing here?
Tee- I have come to watch save the last dance part 7

Sees you in church-
Whats up, How come you are here?
I have come to see a movie

Sees you at the cinema
Hey long time, what are you here for?
I have come to pay school fees

Sees you in a store
Friend - What are you doing in this store?
Tee- I have come to just do some sight seeing.

Goodness we can be funny at times and YES I do ask these dumb questions sometimes too especially "Are you back?"
Hmm don't shine your thirty two like you don't.
LoL.

Did that put a smile on your face?
If it dint, then you really really really need to take it easy, take a break along with a chill pill. ;-) You are not mahogany wood or whatever. Wood is wood!

Have a fab one!

PS- a lil tired at the moment, been blowing my nose all day. I hate having a cold. I had to buy a long pack of tissue. I'll post some better things by tomorrow or so.


Luv

Tee
 
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