Normal Pizza Source |
If I call this ordeal- it makes it sound like something really horrible which it partly is but there isn’t another word that can fit it so hence the heading.
Ok so my sibling and I decided to go to The Palms in Lagos to have a wander about. We decided on our way there that we were going to get pizza so we could munch on en route to the humble abode (if we got stuck in traffic so we don’t starve). Immediately, my head went to Pizza Hut kind of pizza or Costco pizza which I am absolutely head over heels for. My taste buds were dancing makossa and my stomach was making funny noises thereby prompting me to hurry up in getting the pizza in there.
Anyways, we arrived at The Palms and were walking about and oh yea lemme tell you this; I saw Ify- this girl that did uhmm Big Brother Africa years back? May I mention that her outfit made me sweat on the spot? My darling Ify was wearing high heeled suede ankle boots that looked really warm and nice, skinny jeans and long sleeved turtleneck with sunshades and hair that had bangs and covered her ears. I was over 37oC in the tank top with a pair of jeans that I had on, I was already melting and could not wait to enter some place that had at least a fan. So I looked at myself thinking “are we in winter and my body is not feeling it or what?”
When I saw her, I felt the effect of being in those clothes when I wasn’t even in them! Trust me if you had seen her you’d have thought it was winter and considering that the temperature was over 30oC and rising, you would have been sweating on the spot. As in I was like- Sister, are you not sweating in this winter attire in over 30 degrees? I was dazed. I had to drag the sibling along to avoid a scene as the laughter was about to get really loud...moving on!
So we went around and around. We went into Shoprite I think (that’s the Wal-Mart-like store there right? When I walked in I thought it was Wal-Mart) and I came out with a cheese sandwich (which melted when we got outside) and this long sachet of bubble gum which I was hyped about because I hadn’t seen it in years.
My people hmmm we got to where we were to order the pizza- I don’t want to mention what the place is called because it is someone’s business hmm *lips sealed*. Anyway, this lady walked up to me and said “what would you like to order?” handing me a menu. I looked through the menu and ordered a spicy meat feast pizza- goodnessssssss why did I pick that?
I then dropped 1500 for the pizza which was unbelievable for what was sold but my taste buds and stomach pushed me to drop the money. Sometimes, it’s good to look at what you are buying before dropping money for it. Then the waiting time started, I waited and waited and waited- the sibling was on the phone so I was bored out of my mind waiting for the so-called pizza. When the pizza finally arrived, I did not open it so the next destination was straight out of the mall but along the way I spotted KFC and got Ice cream oh thank God for that Ice cream if not hmmm.
When we stepped out under the frying sun- I was hurrying into the car before the cheese on the pizza overmelts (see me thinking that I was carrying Papa John’s Pizza). So I balanced myself well in the seat and start with something cold- the Ice cream. When I lifted the pizza box - you know when you are overly excited because of pizza and you can’t wait to just tuck in and you feel like you can’t open the box any faster and there is this song playing in your head and its getting louder as you are about to reveal the pizza and all of a sudden you open the box and the song screeches to a halt and you are like WHAT IS THIS? I felt like it was a movie playing and a joke or someone was playing a prank. I was dazed- come and see pizza. It was as flat as the baking pan, behind it was a mixture of flour and burnt bits, the cheese was so thin and the so called meat feast was more like meat fasting, the peppers on it were like minute hair rubber bands. The sibling gave me a “that’s Las-gidi for ya” look. I said to myself “hmm Tee, don’t judge a book by its cover- try it first and don’t let that dushh waste like that”
So I had one slice and was like hmm this is very tasty NOT! and see me that was starving myself for pizza. I had a couple of slices and just went straight to the ice cream. The ice cream made more sense than the fried bread that they called pizza. I was like if pizza doesn’t work, let’s try the cheese sandwich- the cheese sandwich melted already. All I could do was just chuckle and down some water to apologise to my taste buds and stomach- they were real mad at me.
When I arrived home, I travelled straight to the kitchen to get some food that made sense rather than that their stomach upset in a box. Ptschewwwww
Talk soon…
Have a good one loves!
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